"I do it because everyone says I should" By Sam Brown. www.explodingdog.com
Mon. Oct. 24
I have had too much happen to catch up with. Basically I am now in the Strasser Hoofcare Professional program, I will be learning much more than I thought there ever was to know about horses hooves and how to care for them. I will then make a living at it. I have met some really awesome people, and extremely kind people. In my short time studying and trimming with people I have been given a pair of chaps and a set of hoof knives (two things I was planning on purchasing by the end of the course if I had saved enough money), as well as several very expensive dinners. I hope I will be able to give my older tools to someone just starting out, and help them along once I get established, I think that is one of my many weak areas: accepting and handling compassion and kindness directed at me. I can't even think of things I can do in return for the people, except to do it to someone else I meet later in life. I am struggling with how I am going to make a living being an SHP especially with Brenda wanting to move in the next 2 years. I would have enough time to get enough clients to go full time, and then have to move, and I would feel horrible about getting those horses over to the Strasser method just to leave them with no one else to care for them. I will try and actually write down some things first instead of just sitting in front of the computer and seeing what comes out, my mind is a complete blank now. I will probably have alot more come up later today.
This year I have had two people who are close to me die, Matt Pulley, he lived a few streets away from me when I was growing up, and I played chess with him when I lived in Virginia. He was hit by a Taxi cab while waiting to make a left turn at a light, he was on his motorcycle and I was told the doctors said he had brain shear. I assume that is brain dead or close to it. The family took him off life support early this year.
My father died this year. May 31. An enlarged heart and prolonged hypertension. I will be putting up a link to something like an obituary later. He died just after we finally stopped arguing, at least stopped arguing about the same things for the past 10 years. We had one argument that was unresovled and that was the house he bought to fix up, I thought he should just sell it fast and make quick money, he wanted to rehab it, well if you were in it for the money I was right. If you were in it to produce a quality home, he was right. I guess that sums up his life. I have the funeral on cd, I have not listened to it yet, but I do remember alot of laughter, I have always felt that funerals should be full of laughter. I can still remember getting the phone call in Washington, the way I reacted Brenda and her mother knew that someone had died. I even had to drive the entire way home, by the time I got home I just didn't have any feeling left. I have had so many people close to me die that it hurt for about an hour and then even without my permission things just went back to normal inside. I cried once, when my mom cried. I still feel guilty about not just completely breaking down and being unable to do anything for at least a day. But I guess I inherited or learned this from my dad, just keep working. My mother relied on everyone but me to do important things, they even had meetings when I was working or didn't invite me when I was home. I was the most rational and emotionally stable person in the family and I was not part of any vital decision making process. I don't know when I thought of this saying but it definately applies "If I wasn't so rational I would want the world to be ruled by rationality."
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