Mon. July 26
Well This week seems to be starting off ok. I am starting up my meditation again, and my forms for Wing Chun. My Gaelic has had a long break, but I will be working on that a little bit at a time to get as far ahead as I can. I registered for school at the U of U today, I should get accepted, and then I will get my classes figured out for the spring schedule so that I can get an associates degree and get all the credits I need for vet school in only two years... including summer semester, so 3 years of college classes but done in 2 years time. The bitless bridle I have for Puck works well, but it is difficult to figure out, it is not like any bridle I am used to. Once I have used it more I will have no problems though. I got paid for all of the work I have done on the Lowe's old property, that was good, now I just need to figure out how many hours I worked for norrick in June and get paid for those. I also need to look for a part time job with a vet... to see if it's what I really want. The braces are finally not hurting like crazy, and I am just waiting for my teeth to start moving. I really want this done in 3-4 months. but 6 at the most, any longer and I think I will be pretty mad. I can handle the retainer 24/7 for a year and then just at night, but I don't want the braces for a long long time. I want to train for soccer again, see if I can get in shape and get my touch back, we now have an MLS team here in salt lake, and I want to try out, see how I do. I know I can be a pro player, and I just can't give up the dream. I would give up being a vet for a while to play pro. I just need to train and get in shape, and make the damn team. Once I do that I can really work hard and get to flippin europe. It sucks to give up a lifetime career for one as unstable as soccer, but I know I can make it to the level where the pay can sustain me for the rest of my life. I have missed my nightly medication for a while, that has had an effect on me, I need to start up on it again, but I am running out, and I won't have insurance until sept. so I will be about 1 to 2 weeks short... and I have to open the capsules and pour out some to lower my dosages cause my doctor changed my dosages again. I really don't like messinga round with medication... if only I weren't like this. I know I can take advantage of it, make it work in my favor, I just have to figure out how, and control the negatives of it. Oh well I have to get things done today. Bye bye.
Thur. July 22
This will be filled under August, I am lazy and I don't think a day or two should get it's own month anymore. I got braces on my molars and cuspids. as soon as my teeth are touching I will then have them on all of my teeth and get them all straightened out and finally have this mess taken care of. I have been taking care of the Lowe's property for the guy who owns it now, turns out that Raymond has been ripping alot of people off, and things like that. I made some good money and I will be doing light maintenance work until they are sold. I got a bitless driving bridle for Puck, and it works well, I am just trying to figure it all out. I am trying to get my life in order, I am looking into veterinary school, it's roughly 7 years of school, 6 years if you do the first two years with two summer semesters full time. Brenda really wants to move, and she won't stop bothering me about getting a career, especially after she talks to her mom. Her mom never seems to say anything positive about our marriage, it is putting alot of strain on our marriage... I don't see how that is going to help Brenda out, it will just make things worse for her. Brenda also doesn't realize how much of my time will be taken up if I go to school full time, work a part time job, and have to continue to train puck and care for him. She is working as well and that makes things tough for us to get together as it is, with school as well we will have little time together. It won't make her happy at all, she is mad at me when I am not working and not doing something, but then when I am working and doing things she is mad because then I am busy. I just don't understand. Oh well, if you can survive on day with each other, you can survive another, and then you can survive a week, and once you get through a week you can get through another... and so on. I really wish I had time to work on my ideas and dreams... it seems like this world doesn't want people to do that, it's all focused on making money, and careers, and how well off you are, not how much joy you have. How can I have joy working all my life just to survive? Why can't I go somewhere and try my ideas and just survive while I am doing that? Why is it that no one is satisfied with that? It is so frustarating, no matter what you do it is never good enough for anyone else, so I guess you have to do it for yourself and no one else. Brenda won't leave me alone, she wants to sleep and can't seem to figure out how to sleep without me, so I will stop but I will write more tomorrow, I have had alot on my mind lately. Maybe I will go shoot some guns, that always relaxes me.