Wed. June 23 2004
Hello Today I stained a deck, wrote an email, measured for sod, walked puck in his harness, and tried to drink a gallon of water. Basically it was a nice day. I still have my problem with life, and wanting to live and stuff like that, but at least I know... well I really don't know anything. I really want to buy the cart for Puck but it's really not wise to do that until I have employment. Once I do though, I will buy him one, and get 26 in. wheels, and get the solid wheels so that they never pop, and don't wear out like regular tires do. I am tired alot, I need to find the time to study gaelic, I will probably be going at half the speed of the class, but I am signed up for the fall class, so I will be way ahead of them. Brenda is working on the Silverbow website, I don't really have any side projects, well I guess everything I am doing right now is a side project actually, and side projects take up alot of time and energy. Ugggghhh. Oh well, at least I have something to do. Also at least I am keeping my journal up to date once again. Maybe something wonderful will come of my life yet. Maybe...
Tues. June 22 2004
Today has been terrible. I spent 3 hours using a belt sander on the General's deck, then cleaning it up, and then 2 hours putting a stain on it with a paint brush. I didn't even get to work with Puck today. I really don't feel like I have accomplished anything the past few weeks. I am not happy with anything. I don't know what is going on from day to day, and I am really not confident in my medication anymore. If I were single I would be in the mountains right now, seclusion becons me constantly. I can only hope that my inventions will bring me the seclusion I desire, and the finances to live in it. Looks like Bee Kissed is moving forward slowly, but I may have the position of account manager on the Silverbow end, and manager on the Bee Kissed end. We will try and market it to Starbuck's, Vitacorp, Wildoats, and I can't remember the others right now. That sounds like a good start though, solid base in the west, and work our way east. Brenda is getting a list of what the ingredients in cosmetics really are, most of them are petro/chemical based. Tomorrow I should be starting up my workout routine again, that should helpout alot, and keep me in shape... I don't want to gain any fat back, I will have to pull out my rowing machine, and my hand weights. I think I am having a struggle with religion, not my belief in it, but my ability to continue to do what leaders in my religion tell me to do. I feel like things are really coming to a head. I just can't sit around anymore and wait for others to do what they say they will do. Especially when it's what they are supposed to be doing. Well I think I will end for tonight, and see what tomorrow brings.
Mon. June 21 2004
So things are things again. I am helping setup Bee Kissed, it is a company Brenda started in Washington with her family. It has chapstick right now, and will expand into lotion, hair care, facial and other beauty products, but focused on natural and each containing one or more bee products. Oh yeah, also mints, breathspray, and maybe gum... maybe. It is fun coming up with ideas for products, ingredients, and packaging concepts. I am still training puck, it is difficult and stretches my patience more than I ever thought it could be stretched. I am looking for another job right now, and that sucks, I am trying to get a management position because I am sick of manual labor, at least if it is not on my own farm or ranch. A few days ago I found a massive scab on Puck's lower lip, I put Trauma-One on it through out the day, and discovered raw flesh underneath. Most of his chin is raw. I am still trying to discover why he has rubbed his chin raw. I hope it heals well, he is daring enough to bite at us now though, which means he is willing to take the chance to have his lip pulled... so he must be feeling better. But we kick his shin instead of pulling on his lip, course I try to kick his shin instead, or punch him in the short ribs. None of this is done hard, but swift enough to shock him. So once he has healed up, I can put the bit back in his mouth and continue training him, and once I have a job we can buy a cart and really get back to training him. I still hope we won't have to geld him, he seems to be behaving like a normal colt, just rambunctious and happy. My invention is coming along slowly, I have alot of ideas, but as yet nothing solid... I am waiting for some plans to show up to start building and that's when the rubber hits the road. It will be fun to start building and trying new ideas out and seeing how things work. I can't wait. Well, I hope to actually keep this up to date again.