Tues. Nov. 30
Well I called about my Federal Tax return, $593.00!!! It turns out that it was processed on the 1st of this month, but a hold was put on the acct. on the 22nd because they have yet to combine Brenda's acct. with mine. So we get to wait until they do that, and then they mail the refund and then we have the money. So... it will be great to have it, but until then we will be taking a huge hit when we pay back half of Brenda's debt to her mom. Maybe we will get the check in a month, but I am not counting on it, probably in 2 more months. I have alot of Gàidhlig to study this month on my own, and alot of recordings to make of the lessons and then email them to my teacher. I am on the hunt for a job again, I really need one, even if it was only 20-25 hours a week, I have to have income so that Brenda and I can be saving money, and I can take Wing Chun again. I have bought alot of lumber to build a run-in shed for Puck, it will be assembled tonight, and he will get a chance to use it tonight, but who knows if he actually will. He has spent alot of time lying down on his hay, and I caught him standing on the plywood board this morning, I guess it is warmer than standing in snow. Tomorrow morning I get to take the shed down, warm up the garage, paint it, hopefully it dries by the evening, and then set it up again. I am building it so that it is easy to assemble and disassemble multiple times, with only two people. 3 walls and the roof, all of the framing in sections, kind of like a panelized home. Set it together, tighten the bolts, and a couple screws and it is setup again. Brenda really wants to get out of Utah, right now, the cold weather we have been having is bothering her alot. She does not want to stay any longer than she has to, if she could leave tomorrow she would. I don't think I can convince her to stay 3 more years... but I will try. I know she has been in Utah a long time, but she has not been with me in Utah for a long time, she was here for her career, and now I would like to accomplish a few things before I move away for the rest of my life, and she won't or can't understand this. Tomorrow night we harness Puck up and take him and a bunch of cookies up to the ward pine tree party, hopefully he behaves, and he stays warm. I will take a towel to put on his back, he won't be able to pull it off since he will have his overcheck on. I wish I had a sidecheck for him though, that would work better. I have to get him a pony sized bitless bridle in the spring, the sizing they have on these is crap. I will be letting them know that too. Too many problems adjusting it, and working with the blinders it came with, they were cheap worthless things, and they could not be removed and have the bridle still work as a driving bridle as I was told. Also the bridle is only setup for sidechecks, so it is a pain for what I have. But the bitless bridle still works better with Puck than using one with a bit... so I am glad that I am not causing him alot of pain in the mouth. I am having trouble finding a place to keep him, my neighbors are not very nice when it comes to letting me keep a mini horse on the property they don't even use. One neighbor has an orchard that they have not even pruned the treees in for about 5 years, or picked up the apples that have fallen on the ground, but they still refuse to let him be in there. I don't understand, if they are not using it, what is wrong with someone else using it? I understand if they have rules for the use, and if they want me to help out around their property in exchange, but for being christians, and in my same ward they sure are possesive bastards. I still have to wait to find out who the real estate agent is of the General's property, the executor won't tell me who it is, and so hopefully they can convince the executor to sell me the orchard. I am also going to ask Bill (his son) if the General had any firearms, and if so how much I can purchase them for, if at all. I also want alot of his military writings. I have been making a list of things about myself that I want to change, I will be posting them once I finish writing it, and then as I complete them I will somehow indicate that on the list. Thanks to J.D. and the story of his brother I know about this, it took his brother years to complete his list, but he did it, and it changed his life, and right now I need a change. Master Shredder (Isaac's snake) is doing well, I soaked him last week, and I will be soaking him every week until his eyes get cloudy, and then I will soak him prolly every 3 or 4 days. Man this is long, I guess I just have alot on my mind, if only I could just exhume all that's in my mind for a while, I think I could relax. Hmmmm maybe if I relaxed I could actually get something done... that is a novel idea!
Holy crap, it's thanksgiving day. There will be something around 26 people at my house, I am not eating with them. I have been upset alot recently, I have been back on my medication and it does not seem to be helping much. We will be having the "turkey bowl" where my family beats the crap out of relatives in football. Brandon wants to take me on though because I have been talking crap since I have been so mad lately. I will just beat the hell out of him instead. A forearm to the throat is a nice start. I have lost all of my conscious lately, I only have a light twang of my former self "maybe I shouldn't do this, or think that." Oh well, doesn't bother me. I will have to tape my ankle and them go lay some people out. I will finish when I get back, I have alot of things to say, I only hope I will have them at the forefront of my mind when I get back. --- My team won, 15-14 or 13. each touchdown counts as one point. Everyone decided I was the MVP. I ran more yards with the ball than anyone else, and scored more touchdowns than anyone else. I ran through people like crazy, and for some reason I could actually run around them too. So I think I did well, I hit a ton of people and laid them out, one after the other over and over and I was only stopped about 2/3's of the time, and it would take 3-5 guys to stop me. I am kinda mad because Cal says I am not a reliable employee, yet he never gives me advanced notice about when he needs me for work, and he knows I don't have a car and I have to find someone to give me a ride. I think he is a little stupid. Today I think I will be taking Puck out with the cart around the neighborhood, he seems to be doing fine, still acting like a colt, but he is not even a year and a half yet so that is to be expected. I still have not found a place to keep him, and I am getting worried, the executor has not gotten back in touch with me about buying the orchard and that is bothering me. It would be an extra 35K for the HOlm family (he gets a portion of that as well) since no one can do much with the land except landscape it. You have to have a min. of .5 acres to build a home and the Holm porperty is something like.75 acres or so, so there can only be one home on it. That means that the acreage over .5 does not increase the value as much as it would if you could build on the extra. The amount that the orchard is would not even affect the price of the property at all, so it would be extra money in there pockets, I just hope that he realizes this. I have to get the deal done before the schutjers tie the property up though, so it has to be soon. I am talking on a few forums now, but it is rare, and kinda boring. I like Lower Lights though, the others are just something to pass the time, and to try and understand Brenda's obession with My Little Pony. I am hurting alot right now, and feeling fairly violent, but calm about it... but that does not scare me at all, I am comfortable with it. After I eat today I will be sitting alone reading my book "An intimate history of killing" and avoiding people. I can't wait until I own my own property away from people, it will be wonderful. Well I get to wrap my ankle and lie around recovering until I eat, and then continue to recover. I hope Brenda doesn't get randomly mad at me... although because it only bothers me a little it just makes her more upset.
Wed. Nov. 17
Welp, I have to find a new place to keep Puck. The executor of the Holm estate is putting it up for sale and he doesn't want a horse in the orchard "because I want it to look how it will when they buy it." This guy is a total retard. Somehow having a mini horse in the orchard is going to blow the deal and no one will buy the property, because they don't have the ability to see the entirety of the property and the house with a horse there, somehow he will make them go blind!!! Funny thing is, the way it is setup you can't tell if the orchard is ours or the Holm's. So I will be asking my neighbors if he can stay in their large lots, and if that is a no go, then I keep in next door in the Lowe's old back yard until I find a place to stable him or put him out to pasture. I left a message with him asking how much he would sell just the orchard to me for, but he has not returned my call. Brenda wants to move from Utah in the next 6 months, I can only assume that means she wants to go to Washington. I guess I didn't express my desire to stay here for 3 years (give or take) until I become a SiFu, plus my Gàidhlig class is here, and in less than 6 months we will be conversing with each other. If I had 3 years of practice with the group here, I would be fluent, and then I could teach Gàidhlig anywhere I went, and I could teach Wing Chun because I was SiFu. Of course I would need some sort of career as well... or something like that, but I am still trying to figure that out. Fireman, Cop, in construction somehow, computers, I have no clue. I do know that Brenda has been here for a long time now, and it is hard on her, but she wants me to move to Washington where she is comfortable and at home. The problem is I won't be completely comfortable there for several years, if ever. I have to get new doctors, and see how I like the feel of the place, and stuff like that. So in my opinion it is a big sacrifice for me, and she is make a huge sacrifice now, but if I am moving away from Utah forever then why can't I stay here for 3 more years to accomplish 2 lifetime goals? Cal wants me to work for him until roughly Dec. 10 or so, because he took on another job and he has to put his current ones on hold until he finishes this new one. Of course he told his current jobs they would all be done by Thanksgiving... so he is not thinking. I put a new seat in my mom's van, and that was OK, except for the fact that there is now no where to buckle the seat belt. The new seat doesn't have the attachment on the side of the seat like the old one did, so I have to take it back and get another one... I hate this crap. Nothing amazing is really going on in my life, alot of depression and anxiety nothing else. I really have to figure this out and get my crap together. Wing Chun classes will help me with that, it did before. Welp I am going to go make dinner...
Thur. Nov. 11
Working for Cal is getting to be a pain. I went from remodeling to working on his rental units. I officially hate people who don't clean up the place they live in. I am not talking about a dirty room, I mean never cleaning your kitchen, or bathroom, or vacuuming the carpets, or dusting anything, ever. Just breaking things, and burning things, and spilling things until you have ruined something that lasts for 10 years or more, in under a year. I can't say i am racist, because it isn't tied to one race, but man, I would love to beat the hell out of everyone who does this. It is so vile and noxious. I actually saw a roach infested apartment, I never thought I would, but it finally happened. The whole place smelled foul, they had never cleaned anything, if Cal asked me to clean anything I would have told him to go to Hell. I even told him that today. I did yard work and painting. I now think of Cal as a slum lord, he could fix the places up and only rent to people who would take care of the place, but he seems to only rent to people who ruin them, and then skip out on rent. Whatever it's his money, I just want to crush the left femur of each person who lived in the places, and cut 3 of their major tendons. All just because I had to actually enter the apartment. So you know, when I stepped into the bathroom, I couldn't move for over a minute, I wanted to vomit, and my OCD went off the charts. I am feeling so violent right now, I don't see how any human being can stand to live like that. I would rather live in a tent then in any of those apartments. At least in the condition they were in. I am fixing up my page with pictures of Puck, it will have thumbnails, and so his progression through his life. I am not sure I have gotten any farther on what I will do for a career. I will look into killing people, it might just pay well. I am taking care of Master Shredder now (Isaac's pet snake) because Vicki (Cal's wife) is afraid of snakes, and can't have them in the same house as her. She needs a flat 3.5 foot long piece of lead slapped into her face. *POP* I like the snake though, he is really nice, and I love reptiles. I just don't get that reason, I hate cats, but that does not mean I would turn away a family member from keeping their cat at my house if they were living with me. I also do not own my own home. Gàidhlig class went well, I am kicking butt right now, and I am even studying everyday. I will keep on top of it this time. I am going to be fluent in another language in this lifetime! I will be going to Wing Chun soon, I am just sorting out the rest of my affairs, and then I will start attending again. I will be building a Run-in shed for Puck this weekend, if the executor is ok with that, otherwise I have to talk my dad into letting me do it on our property, and I just open up a portion of the fence. I think I might start writing Haiku again as well. That was alot of fun. My ankle is finally strong enough for me to jog, so I am going to do that as well, things are picking up now, I just have to start reading the scriptures everyday and praying. I neglect the most important thing in my life.... odd.
Mon. Nov. 8
I have been feeding Puck grass hay, and letting him graze on our lawn until he gets it all trimmed down short for the winter. Brenda and I have been looking at places we would like to live, it seems like Mt. Vernon or Burlington or Sedro Wooley, Skagit county, Washington is the place, or at least within 30 miles of it. Now we get to save our money, and I get to find some sort of career, and Brenda gets to find a job to telecommute. Or a job somewhere within an hour (I hope alot closer) but hey, this could take a few years, but now we have a goal. I would really really love to be a SiFu by the time we move, a Ferrier, and to speak Gáidhlig as well. Maybe that is too much, but I can at least attempt it. We will need $150K-$300K for the land (5-20 acres) and a home on it, and out buildings. I would like 10 acres, but they only seem to sell 5 acres near the cities, and then 20 acres farther away, I am sure it has to do with the zoning. So 20 acres would make me happy, with a year round creek running through a corner of it, then I fence off several pastures build a home, and a barn, a green house, and then see how things go from there. I have been working for Cal helping them catch up, and that has been nice, but I really need to find steady part-time work, then I can take Kung Fu, and find out what my career will be. I think I will make a list of all the things I want to be, or that interest me in any way, and then take a more in depth look into them. So far I am just blowing in the wind. Yay for me!